Tuesday, 5 May 2015

Exams still aren't fun

Surprise, surprise.

Nothing has changed.

Hi I'm stressed, how are you?

You'd think maybe if you were doing something you're a bit more in to you might enjoy all aspects of it more, but nonetheless, exams are still exams. And I highly doubt they'll ever be classed anywhere close to 'fun'.

So, exam season's just begun and I'm ready to whack myself around the head with every single book I've read over the past seven months (and that would take a while because there have been a lot (and it would also hurt a lot because some of them are really big (although it would probably still hurt less than actually taking the exams))). Ughhhhh. I have three exams over the next 4 weeks and I'm not coping well, to say the least. It's not even very many and I feel kind of relaxed about it sometimes but the rest time I'm just like hahah hah hhhh hhhhhHHH. Yeah. Two of them are three hours long and don't start until 2pm (afternoon exams are literally the worst), and the other one is two hours and early in the morning, which is the sort of timing I much prefer.

The issue is I'm just really bad at dealing with them. Like I prepare endlessly, but that doesn't really count for all that much when it comes to doing the actual thing, because the actual thing is always ten trillion times more daunting when it's actually happening, and even more just before it happens. I think I did a post on revision last year, and what kind of stuff worked for me so I'll link that here if anyone's interested (it's probably a little (very) outdated as I'm sure I've changed a lot of what I do but still, it's there).

Basically, I'm trying not to think about it too much, but obviously I have to think about it because exams are kind of important. It's a constant struggle. I think I just care too much. That's probably my downfall in most areas of my life, sigh. I'm trying to look ahead, because I have so many exciting things coming up after these exams are over, so I'm basically revising for 70% of the day in hopes that time will go faster (disclaimer: it doesn't go faster (ever)). The other 30% of the day is usually dedicating to eating and walking away the stress (it works surprisingly well, so I'd definitely recommend it (probably more the walking part than the eating (but you have to eat sooooo))).

I mean, I remember being pretty stressed out about A Levels because I wanted to get into the uni I'm at now, but now I'm here I'm even more stressed out about it. Like, all the grades from the coursework I've done have been fine, but I just don't want my incapability to do exams to make the overall grade drop, ya know. And I know first year doesn't actually count towards the overall degree and I only need 40% to pass this year, but I want to do the best I can, and give it everything. But unfortunately 'everything' involves all of the stress and panic that leaves me feeling worse than any other time of the year.

This is like the most rambly ughhhhh post ever, I'm so sorry. Pretty sure a lot of people will be feeling the same way I feel right now though, and I really feel for you, because I know I sure wouldn't wish this upon anyone. Anyway, the important thing to remember is that as long as you do your best, it's enough; because you really can't do any more, and I always have to remind myself of that, so make sure you remember too.

Hope everything goes great for you.

Until next time.

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